her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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