i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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