ADVERTISEMENT

• (740): View more from Ohio

  I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..

  Fav 39 8557 1105

  share tweet
  

• (206): View more from Washington

  This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.

  Fav 11 3188 1056

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (858): View more from California

  Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.

  Fav 4 2011 959

  share tweet
  

• (805): View more from California

  You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?

  Fav 9 3063 1194

  share tweet
  
• 

  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (912): View more from Georgia

  Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back

  Fav 7 3092 1177

  share tweet
  

• (647): View more from Ontario

  I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.

  Fav 9 1669 710

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (407): View more from Florida

  I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold

  Fav 6 1135 734

  share tweet
  

• (817): View more from Texas

  Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.

  Fav 4 838 1682

  share tweet
  

• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?

  Fav 6 1795 836

  share tweet
  
• 

  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (+61): View more from Australia

  I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.

  Fav 2 546 1154

  share tweet
  

• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?

  Fav 7 1120 595

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (641): View more from Iowa

  They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch

  Fav 0 494 346

  share tweet
  

• (828): View more from North Carolina

  I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.

  Fav 1 249 95

  share tweet
  

• (703): View more from Virginia

  After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.

  Fav 1 12 73

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (545): View more from

  I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door

  Fav 1 51 14

  share tweet
  

Randomize