Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(818): View more from California

Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.

Fav 9 987 1189
share tweet
(310): View more from California

i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"

Fav 18 934 4664
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(480): View more from Arizona

i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend

Fav 11 1638 5086
share tweet
(920): View more from Wisconsin

I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.

Fav 18 1540 2923
share tweet
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.

Fav 7 3544 1066
share tweet
(904): View more from Florida

Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.

Fav 11 2199 1538
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(719): View more from Colorado

He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.

Fav 17 4805 1331
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(520): View more from Arizona

This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.

Fav 9 1101 584
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(504): View more from Louisiana

My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol

Fav 1 56 8
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT