I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
