Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.