Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended

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  (330): ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended http://tfl.nu/6iyq
  Replies (4) Good night (1435) Bad night (553)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober

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  (704): I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober http://tfl.nu/te1z
  Replies (29) Good night (3464) Bad night (734)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?

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  (281): what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish? http://tfl.nu/s2pv
  Replies (41) Good night (5333) Bad night (879)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over

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  (704): we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over http://tfl.nu/0v4z
  Replies (14) Good night (4797) Bad night (1240)
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  (805): View more from California

  Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke

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  (805): Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke http://tfl.nu/mqiv
  Replies (35) Good night (954) Bad night (7919)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal

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  (812): They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal http://tfl.nu/sgdn
  Replies (4) Good night (2003) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person

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  (541): I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person http://tfl.nu/p4il
  Replies (11) Good night (2309) Bad night (610)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.

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  (304): My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point. http://tfl.nu/bf1e
  Replies (6) Good night (529) Bad night (1156)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....

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  (+61): So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year.... http://tfl.nu/e6zr
  Replies (3) Good night (1426) Bad night (431)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.

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  (309): you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits. http://tfl.nu/xhq2
  Replies (1) Good night (691) Bad night (295)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...

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  (719): id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex... http://tfl.nu/l03p
  Replies (4) Good night (763) Bad night (311)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.

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  (334): You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink. http://tfl.nu/xadi
  Replies (2) Good night (947) Bad night (242)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.

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  (724): that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar. http://tfl.nu/4gsa
  Replies (0) Good night (552) Bad night (195)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.

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  (413): dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME. http://tfl.nu/zc45
  Replies (3) Good night (657) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.

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  (320): I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED. http://tfl.nu/gyzc
  Replies (8) Good night (847) Bad night (252)

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