Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
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i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
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That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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