he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.