Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
where are you?
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....