I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did