is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?