youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
this is jacob
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.