Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
singing on the bus should be illegal
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
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I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
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I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The dysfunction is strong in this one.