i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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