One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
