A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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