apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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