I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
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