You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
How drunk are you?
Completed.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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