Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
