I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
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Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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