i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize