who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
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So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
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It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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