What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
