new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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