He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Everclear isn't food dammit