Pants 0. Shit 1.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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