On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?