Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..