If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?