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yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify