one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
My vagina is officially offended.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize