don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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