My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize