Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.