i just had sex bonerless
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.