i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket