My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.