When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
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i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
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I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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