no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
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if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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