these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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