i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
false alarm. still invincible.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
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Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
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At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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