you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I got inside last night via doggy door
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
