Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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