I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
