I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
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do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
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Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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