What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize