I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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