Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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