I accidentally burped into my bong.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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