Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
