yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You grabbed my dick don't call me son