Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?