Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize