I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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