Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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