we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
