the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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