I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
My legs feel like baby dolphins
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
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