I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
