She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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