Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
