so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
