lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
