Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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