And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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